So I keep forgetting that I have a cell now. I heard this weird sound while I was sitting at home and it sounded like the Kim Possible ringtone.
I HAD to make it my new text message tone.
Cousin1: Whose pregnancy tests are those in the trash can?
Cousin2:Psshh. No. Tell her K.
Me: I’m pregnant.
Cousin1: So you did *it*?!
Cousin1: How do you know you’re pregnant?
Me: The pregnancy test.
Cousin1: How did you do it?
Me: I peed on the stick and it told me.
Cousin1: No. How did you do *it*?
Me: That’s a personal question coming from a 12yo. I know that you know how it works.
Me: I’m not pregnant. It came out negative.
Cousin2: How’s your gf from work?
Cousin1:OMG! You have a gf? *in a voice that says I knew it*
Me: Yes. Her name is Taylor Swift.
Cousin1: No seriously.
Me: No! I’m not pregnant and I’m single!
I like to mess with my little cousin.
Me: My crush got her security uniform today and everyone was trying to convince her to get into it!
Cousin: I bet you wanted to see her get dressed!
Me: I told her that I was going to go into work tomorrow and take a picture. You know those Kodak moments.
Cousin: No! You just want to see her!
Me: Of course! *in a seductive voice* Who doesn’t like a woman in uniform?
Cousin: You’re just so gay…I love you!